July 21, We become a family (on Danny's birthday!)

Beautiful Guatemala

The day is finally here! In just a few short (make that long) hours, we will be together as a family.

My headache had ratcheted up a notch by this time, which made being in the moment a bit tougher. But the drive up to the “highlands” as our driver put it, was stunningly beautiful. Edwin, our driver gave us a running history lesson and commentary on the agricultural practices and traditions of the Mayan people. He found places to stop with beautiful views, tempting markets and also clean bathrooms.

Rest stop: can't resist a beautiful coat for Gracie

Yes, it is a long, long, drive

We finally reached the fork in the road that led to the orphanage and I really wish I had taken a picture because it’s like no road I’ve ever seen. What it looked like was rutty dusty space between tightly packed buildings. Even Edwin was surprised at how rugged it was. We continued with blind faith based on the directions we were given. Finally, the dirt path became a bit of a road again, leading still higher into the hills. At last we were in the parking lot of a building I have seen so many times in pictures.

As we walked up to the door, I expected security or ID checks, but we were admitted without question. Luckily, Edwin came with us and translated everything. This gave us the priceless opportunity to speak directly with Danny’s nanny and not miss a thing. When I talk about conversations with people at the Children’s Home, they are always facilitated by Edwin.

We had waited for this moment for a year, more if you count the beginning of our adoption journey back in December of 06. There were so many emotions, so many people’s lives to take into consideration. Mostly, there was Danny who was about to be introduced to complete strangers who would take him from the only home he’s ever known. As hard as it would be, we needed to go slowly and not overwhelm him.

Romalia with our boy and her boy - a bittersweet moment

Almost as poignantly, there was Romalia, Danny’s nanny. This woman has cared for and loved Danny since he was just a couple weeks old. Now she was going to be saying goodbye. We had heard from other visitors that Danny was Romalia’s favorite baby of all time.

The sight of the checker board floor got my adrenaline rushing and my tears rising up. I had never been in this place, yet I knew it well. I was very surprised at the noise level. The TV was blaring, babies were crying, kids were babbling and nannies were talking above it all.

First meeting

Then, suddenly we saw a tearful nanny bringing our sweet boy to us. He was clearly anxious. He was bundled to within an inch of his life as Romalia assumed we would be immediately whisking him off to our room. We told her that our main concern was Danny’s emotional state and that we wanted to take things slowly. I wanted to be sure she didn’t think we were too casual about meeting him, yet I wanted Danny to view this as a casual meeting.

Romalia told us that ever since the news came that Danny’s family was coming for him, he had been anxious and waking up often during the night. She said this often happens to babies who are leaving soon. She also made sure we knew that although she was heart broken, she was very glad that Danny was finally going home to a family that loved him so dearly.

Big sister is worth a second glance

We held Danny briefly. Gracie actually got a smile out of him, the first glimmerings of the adoring little brother in our home today. Then we told Romalia that we would get settled and come back in an hour or so. By this time, it was late in the afternoon and we hadn’t eaten all day.

Amazing Edwin had already taken care of getting our things to our room and ordering lunch from Pollo Compero. (A famous world-wide fried chicken chain originating in Guatemala, we learned.) After settling in and eating, and a world class melt-down from Gracie because I marred the surface of her Flan (pudding like desert) by trying to stir it up, we were ready to spend more time with Danny.

First family portrait

I headed back to the baby changing area to find Danny and Romalia. I caught her sobbing in the back. My heart broke into a million pieces. This process of adoption involves so many lives. This dear woman was trying hard to keep her grief from Danny but still the tears were streaming down her face. Edwin later said that she told him she is single and that the babies at the orphanage are her children. Romalia asked us to please send pictures. She said many families promise to do so, but few actually follow through. We promised her that we would send pictures. Later in the day, she gave us her home address as well.

After some time in our room with Danny, we headed back for dinner for Danny and for ourselves. It was then that I learned that although there is no biological connection, Danny is truly meant to be a sibling to my other two children. This boy refuses to eat just like my other two kids. I guess he is famous for refusing food. He either clamps his mouth shut, or glues his tongue to his upper gums to prevent access with a spoon. His sole goal at meal times is to take possession of the spoon and the bowl.

This gave me concern about his nutrition. The children in the orphanage are switched to powdered whole milk at six months. This is very bad and goes directly against recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics which recommends formula or breast milk as the main source of nutrition for the first year of a child’s life. Without fortified rice cereal or other food, Danny was getting nowhere near the calories or nutrients he needed.

We also had concerns about his general health. When I returned to the orphanage to pick up our meals, the staff remembered that Danny was taking several medications: one for a fever and one for a cough. There was some confusion about the dosage, but finally we had our instructions.

After returning to our room, it became clear that his breathing, which I had initially taken for nerves upon our first meeting, was actually very shallow and very rapid; about two in-out breaths per second. It was a long worrisome night. We were up every four hours to administer meds and a bottle.

Despite the worry, I felt a peacefulness knowing that whatever lay ahead, we would be tackling it as a family and that we could finally advocate for Danny in person.

With Daddy...

With Mommy...

My hero!

P.S. Please hold sweet Nathan A. and his family close in your prayers. We hope and pray that his family will soon be on their own pick-up journey.