I think it happens to every parent. You love your kids from the start. You love them so much you can’t imagine that you could love them more. Then every once in a while there’s a moment that completely flips your heart. There’s a surge of love so strong and overwhelming and it shifts you into a world of love you couldn’t imagine existed just a moment ago…
As you know, sleep has been a tough issue. My heart has been breaking for Danny imagining him waking up and crying for a person and a place that are no longer a part of his life.
But the other day, a dear friend, helped me frame Danny’s crying in another light. She asked me to view Danny’s cries not as desolate cries of abandonment but rather, cries summoning us to be sure we are still there. She told me that older adopted children are able to articulate this as the reason they wake up in the middle of the night. This simple re-framing gave me so much empowerment as a parent. It made me realize that I could actually offer comfort to Danny rather than just helpless empathy.
So Friday night when Danny started crying, I scooped him up and brought him in bed with me, I told him we were here for him and would never leave. Instead of reaching for his teddy bear or blanket, my sweet boy turned in to me and snuggled up against me and fell asleep. And I fell in love. I was completely overwhelmed with the realization that this sweet boy needed me and depended on me. I felt overwhelming, immense love in the desire to protect and nurture him for as long as I draw breath and beyond.
It’s slow but steady progress and I’m still exhausted. But each time I comfort him to sleep I now feel I’ve offered him a bit more security and one less reason to worry. Instead of hurting for him, I am healing with him.
Thank you E. Sweet dreams to all.
As you know, sleep has been a tough issue. My heart has been breaking for Danny imagining him waking up and crying for a person and a place that are no longer a part of his life.
But the other day, a dear friend, helped me frame Danny’s crying in another light. She asked me to view Danny’s cries not as desolate cries of abandonment but rather, cries summoning us to be sure we are still there. She told me that older adopted children are able to articulate this as the reason they wake up in the middle of the night. This simple re-framing gave me so much empowerment as a parent. It made me realize that I could actually offer comfort to Danny rather than just helpless empathy.
So Friday night when Danny started crying, I scooped him up and brought him in bed with me, I told him we were here for him and would never leave. Instead of reaching for his teddy bear or blanket, my sweet boy turned in to me and snuggled up against me and fell asleep. And I fell in love. I was completely overwhelmed with the realization that this sweet boy needed me and depended on me. I felt overwhelming, immense love in the desire to protect and nurture him for as long as I draw breath and beyond.
It’s slow but steady progress and I’m still exhausted. But each time I comfort him to sleep I now feel I’ve offered him a bit more security and one less reason to worry. Instead of hurting for him, I am healing with him.
Thank you E. Sweet dreams to all.
.jpg)
7 comments:
Okay, I'm in tears. I know exactly what you mean about falling in love all over again - it's GREAT isn't it.
You just keep taking those steps day by day. You are THE mother that God designed for that boy from the beginning. You have everything he needs in his mother - even if you aren't perfect (maybe that's just me).
Love to you,
Erin
I am glad to hear that you've made that special connection. The love you share is so special. Can't wait to hear more happy moments about sweet Danny. Trust God through all this and He will guide you.
I'm so happy that your friend provided these words of wisdom and you were able to have this special connection with Danny-- and be able to rest too knowing your sweet boy was safe and happy in your arms.
Blessings--
You are so talented with words. I appreciated what you wrote and completely identified with that "falling in love" feeling! We've had the same sleep issues... thank you for your honesty : )
The Lord has brought you together and He will walk you through each day. May the connection you have made continue to grow stronger each day.
Thank you for sharing this experience, you will never know how much your words have touch other people and given them hope. May God bless you and your sweet baby.
Hi, Therese, Its wonderful to see you are at home with Danny & Grace. The picture of Grace dancing & smiling on the rug shows how full of life & fun & color she is. You have worked and prayed and waited and now you have been blessed with this service - to take care of those two.
As they grow and change, sometimes they need to be held tight and sometimes they need to be let go.
Love,
Post a Comment