My Bad...

OK – you’re going to see this coming as soon as I start to tell the story. I’ll begin by saying that I’ve tried to spin this numerous ways in my head and I can’t come up with anything that can possibly exonerate me.

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Let me run them past you just in case: both kids were screaming. Danny was hanging on my legs like a ball and chain. Gracie was bouncing off the walls banging into everyone. The entire family was in the bathroom. And this whole thing was Gordon’s idea to begin with. Nope. These aren’t going to cut it.

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So here’s the deal: Last summer, to save money we invested in a home razor kit. Gordon wanted me to start cutting his hair as he was sick of paying salon prices for a very basic haircut with a razor. So for the price of about two haircuts, we invested in a razor complete with the little apron thingy, an instructional video and even a free comb as a bonus!

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I have experience in entrusting my hair to someone else. A dear friend colors my hair. Before she slathered the first dose of 5N on my roots we made a pact that any mistakes or disasters would have no bearing on our friendship. Fortunately because of this precedent, Gordon and I entered into the same pact.

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So Sunday afternoon Gordon sat down in the bathroom with the little apron thingy draped over his shoulders. We reviewed the length of the blade attachment that I would be using: 5/8”. Then I proceeded to give him one of the best haircuts I’ve given him to date.

Except…yes there is an “except”…for the first pass up the back of his head. Did I mention that both kids were screaming and Danny was dragging on one of my legs? After the first pass I commented that his hair must have gotten really long because the razor cut off a lot of hair. Then I stared at the razor in horror realizing that I had forgotten to clip on the blade attachment. I had basically cut a swath of hair down to the scalp right up the middle of Gordon’s head. At first it was funny, and then it wasn’t funny at all. Perhaps when the hair grows back it will be funny again.

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I told Gordon that from now on I’d have a check-list to make sure everything was in order. He jokingly commented that there would only be one item on the check-list. I Googled “How to fix a bad haircut.” There was talk of returning to the person who cut it in the first place and also one listing for proceeding with a lawsuit.

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Luckily, Gordon is a very good sport and he’s still living with us. Or more appropriately I should say, I’m still living with him!

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He now owns two hoodie sweatshirts and will be wearing them regularly for the next week or so.

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So there you have it – unless any of you can bail me out...my bad – really, really, really bad!