Bad Court/Good Court

Here is a picture of the PGN window. The message says it all: No cases are being released.

Rumor in the blog world is that PGN is reviewing all cases in their office. First: cases will be those signed and ready for release. Next: cases that were awaiting signatures. Then: cases on the second reviewer’s desk. (All second reviewers are attorneys. All second reviewers have been fired.) From there, PGN will continue to work through cases.

There is some speculation that this preliminary review may take a month. Others hope for a quicker turn-around time. But everyone agrees: there will be delays.

Bad PGN Court. Bad!

Here is a picture of Gracie tearing up a ticket. I received it about a month ago for forgetting to renew my license tabs. I forgot to renew my tabs because I never got the renewal reminder notice. I never got the reminder notice because we moved and my address was never changed by the department of licenses. I registered my change of address with them two years ago.

I decided to take this ticket to court and beg for mercy. The fine was $105 and in addition to the cost of the license tabs.

I had my case prepared. Be humble; accept responsibility; demonstrate good faith effort to comply with the rules; parade out my excellent driving record and lack of a criminal record. (I have the notarized, validated, authenticated dossier documents to prove it!) Finally, I planned to beg for leniency while pointing out the challenges of a single-income family. The final prong of my court strategy was to bring my daughter. I resisted the temptation to smudge dirt on her face to make her look like a pathetic urchin.

I knew things were looking up when the first thing the judge said was: “Oh! What beautiful hair! Is that naturally curly hair like Sally in Charlie Brown*? Oh! My wife would love to see this. She would love hair like that!”** Sixty seconds later, after a gentle chiding: (“our notices are only a courtesy – it is your responsibility to keep your license plates current...”) my fine was waved, we learned that Grace and the judge’s grandmother share a birthday, and Gracie was ushered out with a lolly-pop and an invitation to come back and visit any time.

After the ordeals we’ve been through with the Guatemalan court system lately, I almost wept at this man’s kindness and understanding.

Good Traffic court. Good!

*It’s actually Frieda who has the naturally curly hair in Charlie Brown, but there was no way I was going to point this out!

**Although I did have a pleasant flashback to my toddler days when I heard the same thing, he was of course talking about Grace’s hair.

P.S. Thank you for your kind words, meaningful prayers, hugs, e-mails, and comments. They are boosting me up!

Surreal Saturday...

April 26, 2008 - snow and buds

We woke up to snow on the ground today. With May just a few days away, this is strange even in our part of the country.

However, the weather is playing right into the surreal nature of the past week. As we waited for news from PGN (it’s been six weeks since our re-submission), disturbing events began to unfold on the Guatemalan political scene.

First, the current Attorney General (PGN is the office of the Attorney General), was removed by the new president and a new AG was appointed. The old AG has appealed the case in court.

In the meantime, the new AG has removed the Sub-Attorney General, who is the person who signs off on all adoptions. The AG has ordered an audit of all processes in PGN to get to the bottom of allegations of corruption and inefficiency.

All operations at PGN have slowed or halted completely. Even cases signed by the old Sub-AG are on hold. Adoptions are on hold pending an outcome of the court case as well as the outcome of the audit.

Today, http://www.guatadopt.com/, a very reliable source for adoptions news, reports the likelihood of the Central Authority interviewing all birth mothers again (they have already been interviewed by a social worker and signed off on the adoption four times.) The caseload of adoptions pending is over 2,000. Even though the government pledged to process cases under the old system, it seems things may change.

The last delay was two-and-a-half months. No one knows what is to come this time.

If the changes at the PGN do eliminate cronyism and corruption, this will be a very good thing for the Guatemalan people. But more delays in cases that have been evaluated and re-evaluated is not a good thing for our waiting children.

Tonight, I’m feeling very hopeless. I think the fact that April is the anniversary of Josh’s diagnosis, and the beginning of a journey that led to the loss of our son is weighing heavy on my mind as we travel another frustrating road with obstacles every step of the way.

Hopelessness doesn’t mean I’m giving up on Danny – I just feel too tired to go on. I am so so tired.

After the rollercoaster of last week, I have made myself a promise: I am going to honor my feelings. I am not going to feel guilty about feeling miserable. If I feel giddy with joy tomorrow, I’m not going to feel guilty about celebrating even in the midst of uncertainty about Danny’s future.

So tonight, I’m miserable, very sad and very very tired.

Please pray for all of us who are walking this very long and uncertain path and especially for the children who are waiting to come home.

.

My sweet boys:

April, 2008

April, 2003

From the Mouths of Babes...

Future Teacher

Here’s what Gracie said to me the other night at dinner, apropos of nothing:

“Did you know the sun’s rays travel 93 million miles to ripen and dry the fruit that makes our bodies strong and healthy? I thought you’d be curious about that. Sun Maid is a proud sponsor of PBS Kids.”

I did not know that!! (3/29/08: thanks, Sara!!)

Somewhere a marketing rep from Sun Maid Raisins is smiling right now.

Grace watches a half-an-hour of PBS programming per day after her nap. Sometimes, we stretch it to an hour if I have a lot of work to do. Often she’s playing or doing something else while she’s watching.

So I ask you: if an almost-three-year-old can pick this up and can repeat it like an automaton, what are kids picking up when commercial television is on in the background? It’s a scary thought.

Happy Birthday CMG!! Hi-Ho-Cherrio!

Tucking in my babies

There's nothing that beats the heat of a 60 degree day like ice-cream!!

Saturday was a busy day. I like to plan busy days away from the house because it keeps me from obsessively checking the computer for updates. (Our agency is closed Saturday, so this activity defies logic anyway.)

We spent the entire day at the zoo along with about 90% of the people living in our fair city. Despite the crowds, it was a beautiful day. We capped off our afternoon with an activity that may sound crazy to our new blogger friends from the south: we sat on the terrace without jackets and basked in the 60 degree sun eating ice-cream!

When we finally got home, Grace was asleep almost before her head hit the pillow. I finished my night up the way I usually do by sneaking into her room and tucking her in again and giving her sweet sleeping cheek a good-night kiss.

Ah, but the computer was calling. I couldn’t resist and logged on just to check. And there, in my first e-mail of the day was the picture you see below. This was sent from Kate’s mom (see sidebar for link), who had just returned from visiting her daughter who also lives at Danny’s Home.

For the first time since Danny was born, I got to tuck in both of my kids. Thank you, Sara for this very special gift with the perfect timing for a mother’s heart.

My night-time ritual now includes a look at this picture either before or after my good night visit to Gracie. I go to bed picturing my sweet Gracie and Danny peacefully slumbering.

Here’s the last little cool bit serendipity: I’ve had the goodnight prayer from Hansel and Gretel (the opera) running through my head. I used to love listening to it when I was a kid. Thinking of my own slumbering kids made me think of it again. When I Googled it to find the lyrics the first link to them was on the website “Adoption.com” Wow!

Children's Prayer from Hansel & Gretel
When at night I go to sleep
Fourteen angels watch do keep;
Two my head are guarding,
Two my feet are guiding;
Two are on my right hand,
Two are on my left hand,
Two who warmly cover
Two who o’er me hover,
Two to whom ‘tis given
To guide my steps to heaven

Sleeping softly, then it seems
Heaven enters in my dreams;
Angels hover round me,
Wisp’ring they have found me;
Two are sweetly singing,
Two are garlands bringing,
Stewing me with roses
As my soul reposes.
God will not forsake me
When dawn at last will wake me.

April Fools

April 1, 2008

Two days later

There were a few things that caught us by surprise as April made its appearance.

The first was the weather. As you can see from the above photo (notice Josh’s T-Rex under the tree), Mother Nature surprised us with about 7 inches of snow for April 1st. That’s surprise number one.

The next surprise was Gracie telling us there was a lion in the back yard and a polar bear in the refrigerator. She kept reporting strange sightings all day just for the pleasure of seeing our surprised faces when she yelled “April Fools!”

I've just repainted the living room....April Fools!

Finally, you could say our orphanage laid an April surprise on us, too.

Let me give you uninitiated a little background: Sometime around the beginning of each month, the orphanage puts new pictures of our kids on their website. As soon as the pictures appear on the website, we get terribly excited and begin to check our e-mails for our personal copies of pictures of our kids.

This is the drill taking place all over the country: 1)Check orphanage website; 2) Troll through all blogs in our little adoption family to see if anyone has their pictures; 3) Check e-mail just in case. 4) Wait as long as you possibly can (15 minutes, more if you can stand it); 5) lather, rinse, repeat. It’s a wonder we don’t jam up the World Wide Web with our enthusiastic checking!

As you know from seeing the pictures posted here, the photos are a work of art with details lovingly attended to. It’s a treat to see what each month’s theme will be.

So naturally on March 31, I began to look for photos on the orphanage website. I checked there last thing last night and first thing this morning – nothing. So imagine my surprise when I opened my e-mail and found not one, but two sets of pictures of Danny waiting for me. What a wonderful April surprise!!

Nobody's Fool!

Case Update: As of March 14, we were back in PGN (one month to the day of our first submission.)