Happy Birthday, Josh

Josh: August 20, 2000 - December 13, 2003

In the midst of our whirlwind adjustments, comes the anniversary of one of the best days of my life: Josh’s birthday.

I feel guilty that this day has come up so fast, and in the midst of all the changes going on around here we didn’t prepare as much as we usually do. Birthdays falling around the arrival of a new family member tend to get lost in the shuffle. I should know, it happened to me twice!

But some things don’t change year after year.

I always take time to remember the day Josh was born. The time after Josh’s arrival was the calmest of all my babies. You know Danny’s story. Gracie arrived on a day the hospital was pathetically understaffed and super busy. But everything was calm after Josh was born. He had about as much hair as Danny does now. I remember singing him a lullaby I had been singing to him long before he was born and being completely overwhelmed with love for this sweet, beautiful boy. It’s hard to believe that we would only have three short years with him. We never could have imagined the endless capacity this little being would have to bring joy into our lives.

During the devastating months following Josh’s death, we struggled to find ways to honor his life and continue to spread his joy. We knew that we wanted to keep the memory of Josh’s joyful life alive and also to share it with others. We want Josh’s birthday to continue to be a joyful event. So every year, we celebrate “Dinosaur Days” by preparing gift bags stuffed with Dinosaur goodies for all the children visiting the Oncology Clinic. We do this on the Friday closest to Josh’s birthday. To honor Josh’s night time pilfering of the nurse’s flashlights, we also prepare goodie bags for the kids on the hospital wing. We celebrate “Dinosaur Nights” by giving away light-up dinosaur toys. (You wouldn’t believe how many of these toys there are!)

Despite the already chaotic environment around here, we are ready to celebrate with the kids at the hospital. We also have a logo for the first time this year. My brother, Paul developed this for us. Can you spot Josh’s name?

Our last tradition on Josh’s birthday is to head to the Zoo, one of his favorite places. That’s where we will be tomorrow. I’m sure he’ll be with us. I’ll leave you with some of my favorite pictures of our sweet Josh.

6 months old - our favorite spot during the winter of 2001

September 2003: Radiation Photo. They asked Josh for a picture for his file and this is what he gave them!

Josh with his favorite: Infinity

With our doggy, Matchless

18 Months

Starting with today's headlines

A tea party for some friends

A zoo outing

Helping Daddy paint our yellow door

Remember, O God, my dear Joshua whose love and presence I still cherish. Strengthen me in my loss. Help me to honor his memory by the way I live, by the love I have for dear ones still with me, by my goodness to those who need me, by the helping hand I ofer to all. May I continue the noble tasks that had such meaning for him thereby continuing to link our lives together. Thank You O God, for the blessing of memory.